Zero's Wall of Ramblings

~Clearing up all personal ramblings in my journal that are more mental health rants. I don't want people stumbling on this journal and worrying. If you're that curious you can always read the post history. :D~

I woke myself up wheezing this morning. My throat is always sore from talking all day at work (being behind tills constantly), I don't have time in between to take cough sweets and I'm hesitant to take cough medicine since it's always stronger (and I don't have a sore throat because of a bug, just constant strain+heat because it's always warm in store.) But I don't normally wheeze, so I swear if this is the start of an actual bug I might cry. I can't be ill, I've still got five days worth of shifts and I need to be not ill so I can cope with the summer rush. ;-; I'm kinda getting to the point where I want to find another job. Shame there's nothing much going that can be reached on foot.

So it was payday a few days ago and I decided to treat myself to some tools for cooking. Spoons, bowls etc. and it was mainly for baking cakes and stuff. So imagine my frustration when my mum and brother use two bowls I'd bought and DIDN'T CLEAN THEM. One has chicken fat in it and the other's been badly scratched so the tomato pasta that was in it has stained. Keep in mind these were for baking! ~Clearing up all personal ramblings in my journal that are more mental health rants. I don't want people stumbling on this journal and worrying. If you're that curious you can always read the post history. :D~

So I got a new Switch today and wanted to transfer all my information over. I was positive that I'd bought Splatoon 2 on my account but it would seem that isn't the case. Meaning the £70 odd I'd spent was for nothing really AND that I'll have to buy the game and DLC again! Fantastic! This isn't terribly designed system at all Nintendo. I'm not screaming internally right now, nope! Not at all!

So I've got a college interview on the 16th, giving me a few days to build a portfolio. I'm excited but... What the heck do I put in my portfolio?! *Proceeds to panic* Do I focus on my art, or do I try making 3D art/models? Do I showcase some of my writing, or maybe the scraps of notes I have when I was considering fan projects? Should I show my understanding of system menus from the engines I use or is that not needed? I-I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm already freaking out. ^-^' But if I do get through this, I'll finally be able to study game design. Something I've wanted to do for years now and the thought of that is really exciting!

I programed a little game in class today! It was bare bones, being blackjack but with just numbers (Minus the gambling aspect, blackjack is where you pick cards randomly in turn in hopes they'll add up to 21 exactly. Any higher and you loose.). It's entirely text based and I was following the tutor's code but hey! I understood most of it and didn't run into too many problems, as a first timer I'd say I'm doing okay!

Well the dream becoming reality was nice while it lasted, but I quit my college course. It was just too much for me to handle mentally, I couldn't see myself being able to catch up with the maths by myself and no support was really being offered to me. So what's the point of doing it for a whole year and just falling further and further behind and then failing the course entirely? But, yeah. It's really brought me to a low point, where I don't feel I'm any good. I know it's a feeling that'll pass, that it's just the sting of having to give up on a dream for now. But I'm just scared I won't get out of this funk and depression will take over again. I had been doing so well without medication but lately I just have no energy, I have days where I feel amazing and others where I can hardly pull myself out of bed. Maybe I ought to book an appointment with the doctor, just to be safe. Might be worth asking about medication for my ADD too if I'm going to eventually study Maths, I switch off with that faster than anything else.

~Clearing up all personal ramblings in my journal that are more mental health rants. I don't want people stumbling on this journal and worrying. If you're that curious you can always read the post history. :D~

So this year I tried out a new strategy that would let me collect Boxboxes but also open a couple. So each month I'd either open or collect boxes. Save my Lucky Seals from HM for the months I'd open boxes and make a Box Box the moment I got enough when collecting. I got 10 at the moment, so I'd say it's working well given that I can't check Scours every hour.

Ok, so a pet peeve of mine at work is when customers just leave stuff lying around when they decide they don't want it anymore. And I'm not just not talking about a packet of biscuits in the coffee isle. I'm talking pure laziness. Like meat left on a promotion shelf right NEXT to the chiller. Apparently opening a door is too difficult? You know where you got it from, why can't you put it back in that general area at least?! I'd luckily found the steaks were still cold, so they could be put back but I've found chicken sitting next to cereal before and everything! I once found a Pot Noodle (Just dried instant noodles with veg and stuff) in the freezer and I couldn't even fathom why nobody had moved it. It'll never stop and continue to frustrate me. But what can you do?