the doings [ and things ]

As an artist and user, I get demotivated a lot. When I do art, I either think that I’m overcharging or underpricing, and I feel as if my art isn’t worth. I get doubtful of my style, and think to myself “oh, I’m not a good artist” or “hey, I spend a lot of time on my works and yet I feel that it’s not worth it” As a person, I find myself thinking that I’ll never reach high enough for my standards. Being socially anxious doesn’t help. I wish that I had people who I could count on and trust, yet my anxiety pushes people away since I can rarely find the words to speak. I have little friends left who still play since many quit a long time ago, and I try so desperately to make new ones, yet I think I make myself look like a fool for trying. I feel judged, I feel disliked. I don’t want to be a person that people look at with disdain. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling like I’m not good enough. I wish I knew a better way to deal with my insecurities other than just blaming it on myself…