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Pen and Paper - A Writers Clan

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toothyJackal's AvatartoothyJackal
toothyJackal's Avatar
Username: toothyJackal Native language?: English In how many languages do you write?: Just the one. Storyteller or poet? (or both?): Both! Original Fiction or Fanfiction? (or both?): Both! More fanfiction lately. What is your preferred genre?: Fantasy, but I've been looking into Horror and Thriller lately. Will you be sharing with us?: Hopefully! I'm trying to motivate myself to write more lately. Is there anywhere we can find your work?: My fanfiction account is here but it hasn't been updated in a while. Show us some of your writing!: This is from a multi-chapter pokemon fic about marine researchers working in an offshore lab that houses carvanha and sharpedo. The main character, Yvonne, went on a diving trip the night before and came face to face with a gyarados.

Chapter Five Nightblind

Yvonne woke up all at once: head aching, fingers scrabbling against thin medical sheets, cold metal and a bone-deep pain in her missing left leg. She shot upright, slamming her palm on the desk for stability and startling the man working away nearby. She was in… hydroponics. There was a low-light comforting glow, the soft play of water refractions on the glass and metal from the nearby porthole window and the quiet trickling of water running through the pipes and feeding the tiny seedlings growing in rows. Her hands searched out the makeshift bed, threading fingers through the warmer bedding blanket on top. Someone had lain a work tabletop with what looked like every sheet in medical, as well as a couple pillows from someone’s bunk. At the desk, recovered from his brief brush with cardiac arrest, Willis dropped the pen from his mouth and whistled. “Huh. Sammoya was right.” He got to his feet and held out a hand to help Yves up. “She left not five minutes ago.” Yves slid to the edge of the table and let her leg dangle, shaking her head at Willis’ offered hand. “Right about what?” she asked, voice raspy from disuse. “Right about you.” He gestured to an askew rolling chair with his foot. “She was there all day and half the night. Took one look at you and said you’d be up soon, then took off.” He dragged the chair over, jostling Lab Rat the spheal where she was precariously balanced on top, and pushed it over to her. Resting the back of her hand on top of the seat, Yves frowned as her internal temperature gauge picked up something just below regular body heat. She snatched her hand back. “Huh.” “Huh,” Willis repeated. He folded his hands over his mouth and said, "I thought you might not wake up, to be honest."
Icon permission from MoonPhanter: Tumblr | dA
Loksfjoer's AvatarLoksfjoer
Loksfjoer's Avatar
Welcome toothyJackal, I'll add you to the list of members.
~ Writer ~ Roleplayer ~ Collector of gems, jewels and fossils ~ My shop: Shop of shiny items My clan: Words of creation Avatar made for me by Armarouge
Username: Cinnamon Buns642 Native language?: Sinhalese In how many languages do you write?: Just english Storyteller or poet? (or both?): Both, just more to the story side Original Fiction or Fanfiction? (or both?): Both What is your preferred genre?: Fantasy and a little horror Will you be sharing with us?: I hope I can Is there anywhere we can find your work?: I haven't been displaying my work lately, sorry Show us some of your writing!: (in the hidebox please)

Freindship - Fanfiction

Once upon a time, on Melemele Island, a young eevee wandered out into the forest. It was a dark and gloomy day, and the eevee was lost. It scampered around the island’s thick forest for many hours, and it soon became very hungry. The berries of the island were very high up, out of the eevee’s reach. Despite its hunger, it cuddled up into a tight ball and fell asleep. When it awoke, it wasn’t out in the forest. It had awakened in a small hut, and could smell the fragrant scent of Pokémon Food. It was a familiar smell, but the eevee couldn’t remember where it was from. Then, from the darkness, a young woman emerged. She smiled at the eevee, and handed it a yummy bowl of Pokémon Food. “Here” said the woman. “For you” The eevee opened its eyes. The scent of the food drove it closer. Just before it ate, it sniffed the woman’s hands. Upon sniffing, the eevee eventually knew that the woman was friendly. It then began to eat. “Hmm, it’s great to see you doing much better! I wander why you were out there anyway” the woman remarked. She sat down next to the eevee and fell asleep. A few weeks passed, and the woman and the eevee were inseparable. The woman had named it Sky. Together, they lived a peaceful life in the hut deep within the forest. But one day, a group of men came to the hut. They began to cut down the trees around it, so that they had room to build a luxury hotel. They cleared many trees, leaving many Pokémon without a home. The woman took as many as she could into her care, and along with Sky, she protected the forest. But then the day came when the men banged on the hut door. When the woman opened the door, they demanded that she sell them the hut, so that they could knock it down. When she refused, the men were furious. One of them through a Pokéball high into the air. “Electrobuzz, take ‘em to the door!” he cried. The Pokémon snarled at Sky. But the woman would not give up. “Sky, will you help me protect our home?” she asked the eevee. “Eevee! Ee!” the eevee replied. Then the battle was decided. “Alright. Sky use quick attack let’s go!” cried the woman. “Electrobuzz, use thunderbolt!” came the reply from the man. The battle continued for some time. “Okay Sky. Time to finish it up with our Z-Move.” The woman whispered. She began the first Z-Poses. “Together. As one. We will fight, for our freedom!” the woman began. “Use Extreme Evoboost!” as the final Z-Poses were finished by both trainer and Pokémon, the eight evolutions of eevee gathered. Together, they shared their power with Sky. And the eevee attacked. Stronger than ever. To save her home. A flashing blue light came from the eevee. And then, burning brighter, it evolved. A majestic sylvevon emerged from the mist. And together, the woman along with Sky, saved the forest.

Potatoes - Poem
This is really old

Potatoes are yummy I hate it when you say Potatoes taste horrible That's wrong in every way I'd eat them everyday It makes no sense when they say Potatoes are disgusting
Read this down the normal way, and then up from the bottom!
^^
BOOP
x Arlecchinø's Avatarx Arlecchinø
x Arlecchinø's Avatar

wrote a DA fic!

here's the the mentioned dragons, minus Nova and Cricket

Void, you know who he is by reading. once again, no spoilers, hes Hyperion though/ Hal, the dragon this is told from. and PEach, hal's mate
Hal walked out of the lair, yawning. Owner was at the Tundra with Nova, a large dragon like his mother, and Cricket, an odd wasp-like dragon, but he eyed the two radiation green eggs with black dappling. They came from Wasteland, the double eared dragon thought, thats what Owner said, he wondered what the babies would be like. He looked at the eggs, rather large and soon to hatch. Owner would be bound to check on them soon. Then the orange haired person was back, and Hal cheered. Back to the lair, concluded the Skyrix, seeing owner come back home. Owner was hatching the eggs, Hal went wide eyed. What would they be? Peach was quick to come over, but it was too late. One had hatched, it was a purple and black, beelike dragon with a stinger. Owner smiled, praising it for its color and stroking it. Then the next egg was ready, Owner going to hatch it. It was a small yellow dragon, a wingless one, it had a small flap on its head, for a crest, Hal concluded. He smiled, Peach jumping around happily, her odd material sending Hal offguard. It was a good day, thought the dragon, and it really was.
feel free to Critique!
cy/fev. he/they pronouns. find me at @scorkaji on discord if you need me
King's Shield

King's Shield

Forme-Change Item

(: 0)

A mysterious shield that enervates attackers. Aegislash could make good use of this.

Sells for 500

Lv. 100 — +9,856,561
Aspear BerryAspear Berry
Aspear Berry (SOUR)
Cheri BerryCheri Berry
Cheri Berry (SPICY)
Chesto BerryChesto Berry
Chesto Berry (DRY)
Pecha BerryPecha Berry
Pecha Berry (SWEET)
Rawst BerryRawst Berry
Rawst Berry (BITTER)
Likes:
Bitter food
ElectricDark
Happiness 27%
Calm nature
Lv. 100 — +11,314,006
Aspear BerryAspear Berry
Aspear Berry (SOUR)
Cheri BerryCheri Berry
Cheri Berry (SPICY)
Chesto BerryChesto Berry
Chesto Berry (DRY)
Pecha BerryPecha Berry
Pecha Berry (SWEET)
Rawst BerryRawst Berry
Rawst Berry (BITTER)
Likes:
Dry food
DarkFlying
Happiness 27%
Rash nature
Lv. 100 — +5,692,016
Aspear BerryAspear Berry
Aspear Berry (SOUR)
Cheri BerryCheri Berry
Cheri Berry (SPICY)
Chesto BerryChesto Berry
Chesto Berry (DRY)
Pecha BerryPecha Berry
Pecha Berry (SWEET)
Rawst BerryRawst Berry
Rawst Berry (BITTER)
Likes:
Sour food
Fairy
Happiness 27%
Impish nature

avatar from Hazbin Hotel s1e8 pkmnpanel code
Username: Azule Lycan Native language?: English/Chinese In how many languages do you write?: Just English for now Storyteller or poet? (or both?): Storyteller Original Fiction or Fanfiction? (or both?): both What is your preferred genre?: Mystery/Romance Will you be sharing with us?: Of course! Is there anywhere we can find your work?: (PF journal, Wattpad, DeviantArt, Archive or our own, …) On Qoutev,I might post some in my journal sometime later... Show us some of your writing!: (in the hidebox please)

Storybook tale

Jenna was looking through books at the library,as she always does. A certain book had drawn her attention,it was titled 'Jenna's Death' "That's my name!" She said in a whisper. She flipped through the pages just as a piece of paper fell out from the book. She gently picked up the paper. On it were the words, If you are reading this,it means that he has chosen you. Text the number below or he will not be pleased And indeed there was a number at the bottom. As she dialed the numbers,a hand grabbed her shoulder. (To be continued)
Ceralis's AvatarCeralis
Ceralis's Avatar
Hi there! I wrote a horror story and want ti share it with you guys!

100 words

Whoever's reading this, I might not live long, this...virus has now spread to almost half of the Earth. I got the virus from eating some contaminated food for my research. For anyone who is alive to read this book, I am about to share with you the ways to defeat this virus. I'm afraid I might be too weak to do so. People call the virus 'Zombie Virus' because it feeds off your brain and over time, you get so dumb that you'll only be able to write 100 words each day. But don't worry, all you gotta do is
[signature under construction]
Loksfjoer's AvatarLoksfjoer
Loksfjoer's Avatar
Cinnamøn Buns642 & Azüle Lycâñ: you have been accepted and I will add you to the list of members
fevineFølløwer:

feedback

I like the setting and the idea behind the story. It's intriguing. The eggs found in a wasteland gives the story a kind of mystery that will make a reader interested in the story. Are there other people too? Why are these dragons with Owner? What is this Wasteland? All these questions that come up invite me as a reader to read more and explore the setting through your stories. I love that and I hope you either have more or will write more. This story could benefit from a little more showing and a little less telling. Take the hatching of the eggs for example. How does Owner do that? Is there some cracking Hal can see or hear? Maybe you could add a bit more descriptions of the scenery to allow the reader to properly place the story. Right now it feels like a post-apocalyptic setting because of the mention Wasteland and Owner and the dragons live in a cave in or near a Tundra, for whatever reason. Maybe you could mention a few things about their living space as Hal exits the lair? Is it a dark cave or are there items of Owner to be seen? Is there a camp for Owner outside? Those are details that give depth to the story, and allow the reader to form a more detailed image. I would have liked to see a bit of interaction between Owner and the Dragons to give us a glimpse of their relationship and to connect with the characters more. Are the dragons more like pets or friends? Also, is Skyrix the type of dragon Hal is? I love the diversity of your dragons in the story; they're all different in appearance and have their own personalities. You didn't write a lot, but it was enough to show the reader the dragons are not the same.

Slytherin Queen: That was brilliant. Short, but well executed.
Ceralis's AvatarCeralis
Ceralis's Avatar

QUOTE originally posted by Calle

Cinnamøn Buns642 & Azüle Lycâñ: you have been accepted and I will add you to the list of members
fevineFølløwer:

feedback

I like the setting and the idea behind the story. It's intriguing. The eggs found in a wasteland gives the story a kind of mystery that will make a reader interested in the story. Are there other people too? Why are these dragons with Owner? What is this Wasteland? All these questions that come up invite me as a reader to read more and explore the setting through your stories. I love that and I hope you either have more or will write more. This story could benefit from a little more showing and a little less telling. Take the hatching of the eggs for example. How does Owner do that? Is there some cracking Hal can see or hear? Maybe you could add a bit more descriptions of the scenery to allow the reader to properly place the story. Right now it feels like a post-apocalyptic setting because of the mention Wasteland and Owner and the dragons live in a cave in or near a Tundra, for whatever reason. Maybe you could mention a few things about their living space as Hal exits the lair? Is it a dark cave or are there items of Owner to be seen? Is there a camp for Owner outside? Those are details that give depth to the story, and allow the reader to form a more detailed image. I would have liked to see a bit of interaction between Owner and the Dragons to give us a glimpse of their relationship and to connect with the characters more. Are the dragons more like pets or friends? Also, is Skyrix the type of dragon Hal is? I love the diversity of your dragons in the story; they're all different in appearance and have their own personalities. You didn't write a lot, but it was enough to show the reader the dragons are not the same.

Slytherin Queen: That was brilliant. Short, but well executed.
Thank you! ^^
Loksfjoer's AvatarLoksfjoer
Loksfjoer's Avatar
Announcement: Weekly events and writing competitions are now part of this clan. I hope you will enjoy them! Check this post on the first page.
x Arlecchinø's Avatarx Arlecchinø
x Arlecchinø's Avatar
my response to your critique, i'm very greatful for it! I like the setting and the idea behind the story. It's intriguing. The eggs found in a wasteland gives the story a kind of mystery that will make a reader interested in the story. Are there other people too? Why are these dragons with Owner? What is this Wasteland? All these questions that come up invite me as a reader to read more and explore the setting through your stories. I love that and I hope you either have more or will write more. does Owner do that? Is there some cracking Hal can see or hear? I never expected anybody to see it as that! There are multiple world of the game this fic is based off, so i do want to write more. I am seriously considering making this simple a first draft, honestly. \ Maybe you could add a bit more descriptions of the scenery to allow the reader to properly place the story. Right now it feels like a post-apocalyptic setting because of the mention Wasteland and Owner and the dragons live in a cave in or near a Tundra, for whatever reason. Maybe you could mention a few things about their living space as Hal exits the lair? Is it a dark cave or are there items of Owner to be seen? Is there a camp for Owner outside? Those are details that give depth to the story, and allow the reader to form a more detailed image. Ooh, i never considered that! The Dragon Lair is actually simply a menu in-game, but i always considered it an off-map place that is probably a cave of varying sizes, depending on how much it's upgraded. and i definitely willl! Are the dragons more like pets or friends? I never considered that! I'll have to think that one up! Most of my dragons are from trades, so i have to think about it! Also, is Skyrix the type of dragon Hal is yepyep!! a special event dragon, recieved from a mother dragon. Also why Nova (a fellow mother dragon) is compared to Hal's childhood, before Owner (aka me) recieved him and was named Hal, actually. I thought it would be clear! I love the diversity of your dragons in the story; they're all different in appearance and have their own personalities. You didn't write a lot, but it was enough to show the reader the dragons are not the same. aww, thank you! i'm taking this on as a draft, i think. I want to keep the general plot though. my overall conclusion is that i'm a bit too vague, and thus need to delve into it a bit more. thank you for the advice, and i hope my notes will help you!

second draft

Hal walked out of the lair, flying over to the Base, it was where food was grown and - more importantly- eggs were hatched, it was also nearby the Teleporter, where Owner went to visit different worlds. Owner was at the Tundra, at least he had heard that before the dragons took off, with Nova, a large dragon like his mother, and Cricket, an odd wasp-like dragon, but he eyed the two radiation green eggs with black dappling, like a creeper, Owner said, whatever that was. They came from Wasteland, the double eared dragon thought, a radioactive, mutant-ridden place, his friend Nagito had been there, and he asked the dragon what it had been like, he wondered what the babies would be like. He looked at the eggs, rather large and soon to hatch. Owner would be bound to check on them soon. Then the orange haired person was back, and Hal cheered, hoping to run forward then tripping. He was prone to this, so of course when Owner chuckled he didn’t mind. Owner went over to the eggs, Hal went wide eyed. What would they be? Peach was quick to come over, the oceanborn dragon hearing the cracks, but it was too late. One had hatched from their warm touch, it was a purple and black, beelike dragon with a stinger much like Cricket, a Venid, he noted. Owner smiled, praising it for its color and stroking it. Then the next egg, put into the incubator earlier, was ready, Owner going to hatch it with their love. It was a small yellow dragon, a wingless one, it had a small flap on its head, he wasn’t sure what dragon it was, but he liked it. He smiled, Peach jumping around happily, her normal wits gone with joy of a new life, her odd material sending Hal off guard as she jumped onto him. It was a good day, thought the dragon, and it really was.
i really hope this is better! i decided to show off Hal's clumsiness, and note on how Peach is said to be witty.

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