Single post in Shadvex's Story [PG-13]

“Shadvex, Blaze Heatnix, Storm Eagle, and Flame Hyenard, report to Sigma’s room immediately to receive your mission for the day,” Vile growled over the loudspeaker. I scooted under Blaze Heatnix’s bunk, then poked my head out to see Storm Eagle entering the room. “Blaze Heatnix, if you don’t mind, tell Sigma that we’ll be running a bit late, we need to go do something rather important,” he said. “Whatever,” replied Blaze Heatnix. Storm Eagle motioned for me to follow him, then set off down the hall. I willingly got up to follow him. Once I managed to catch up, I said, “If Sigma kills us, I’m blaming all of it on you.” “I’m perfectly fine with that,” he replied matter-of-factly. I paused. “Do you happen to have any donuts on hand?” I asked, realizing I was regaining my addiction to donuts. I still don’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. “There are probably some extra ones from last Monday in my room, but that’s not what we’re here to do,” he replied. He opened the door to the training room and we both stepped inside. “Now, Shadvex, here’s something you have to do with no hesitation no matter what your instincts tell you to do... Fully charge a shot in your buster and shoot me with it.” he said. I stared at him. “Are you insane?” Storm Eagle rolled his eyes. “Come on, it probably won’t affect me that much. Just do it,” he said. I sighed and charged up my buster until it was glowing with purple energy, then aimed directly at Storm Eagle and fired it. “That’s... That’s literally what a normal shot should do,” said Storm Eagle in disbelief. “You give new definition to the words ‘Dinky Peashooter’.” “...What is that supposed to mean?” I asked, resisting the urge to punch Storm Eagle in the face. “It means,” he said, dragging a wooden box to our side of the room, “That you’ll need a melee weapon to fight with since your buster won’t to crud.” After a few seconds of thought, I took off my helmet. “I could throw this at you, spiked side up, and you would probably die,” I said. “...You have helmet hair,” Storm Eagle stated. “Really bad helmet hair.” He started snickering. “You almost looked like the kind of guy that would kick innocent puppies without a second thought, but... How can anyone take you seriously after seeing... Pffffft!” Storm Eagle had fallen over laughing. I picked up a pair of knives and everything in the room was destroyed in an amount of time that could’ve been anywhere from thirty seconds to two minutes. Storm Eagle sat up. “...Point proven,” he said. “You know,” I said as if nothing at all had happened, “I really like these knives. Do you think I should use them as my main weapon?” Storm Eagle stood up and blinked. “Huh? What? Um, sure, go ahead,” he said, seeming slightly dazed. He looked around. “Um, this entire room looks kind of... Wrecked,” he said. I shrugged as I took the sheaths that held the knives out of the box. “Who cares? Isn’t this the whole point of this room anyways?” I asked, fixing them to my back and then sheathing my knives. Storm Eagle shrugged. “I guess so, but you kinda took it a bit overboard. And please, put your helmet back on,” he said, handing me my helmet. “You know,” I said, “I have no idea how everyone holds my helmet without getting punctured so easily.” I put it back on. Storm Eagle looked down at his hands. “Uh...” I glanced over at his hands, then walked over to the nearest wall and bashed my head into it as hard as I could. My head proceeded to go through the wall and into the next room... Which happened to be exactly where Sigma and Blaze Heatnix were waiting. “Um... Hi,” I said with a nervous chuckle. “Uh...” Sigma sighed. “Who made your helmet?” I tried to respond, but the only sounds that came out were random squeaking noises. I gave up after a few attempts and tried to get my head out of the hole, but to no avail. This is where it ends, I thought, a drop of sweat rolling down the side of my face. I don’t even know how that works. I’m not even completely sure that I want to know how it works. “Alright, that’s enough fail for today,” said Storm Eagle, trying to get my head unstuck from the hole it had made. And by that, I mean grabbing onto my shoulders and pulling really hard. “Stop it,” I whined. “Just go get some peanut butter or something.” “Peanut butter is for wimps,” said Storm Eagle. I squirmed a little bit. “No, seriously, stop it, that kinda hurts.” “Geez, tough it out, will you?” muttered Storm Eagle. “This is nothing compared to what you could go through should you screw something up.” “Fine,” I groaned. After enduring a few more minutes of this nonsense, Storm Eagle finally managed to get my head unstuck. “I still think using peanut butter would’ve been a better idea,” I muttered, straightening my helmet. “Let’s try that one again,” said Storm Eagle, “Using the door this time.” “You guys have really cruddy interior walls,” I said, exiting the room. “Flame Hyenard isn’t here yet,” I noticed as soon as me and Storm Eagle entered the room where Sigma and Blaze Heatnix were waiting. “Honestly? I hope he got lost on his way here,” said Blaze Heatnix. “Don’t we all wish that?” I said. “Probably,” replied Storm Eagle. “Most definitely,” Blaze Heatnix added. A few minutes passed with no sign of Flame Hyenard. “Yup, he’s probably lost,” I said. “We should just start the mission without him.” “You know,” Blaze Heatnix said, “I’d say I don’t care, but I do. Kind of.” “We all do,” Storm Eagle pointed out. “The mission is going to go a lot better without him.” Much to everyone’s collective disappointment, Flame Hyenard stumbled into the room and landed on the floor face first. “...Are you on gummy bears?” I asked. “No,” he replied, “Chill Penguin tried to- BURN TO THE GROUND!- kill me.” “Well, good thing he didn’t,” I said with false relief, “We have no idea WHAT we would do if he did.” “I don’t really care, actually...” said Blaze Heatnix. “Geez, you two, don’t be so inconsiderate of his feelings,” said Storm Eagle, trying his hardest not to die of laughter. “Meh, whatever,” said Flame Hyenard. “You do realize Sigma is- BURNING TO THE GROUND!- listening to this entire conversation, right?” “He is? Oh yeah,” I said. “...Don’t care,” said Blaze Heatnix. “Alright, we should stop this random crud before the conversation drags on forever,” said Storm Eagle. “Now,” said Sigma, interrupting the insane conversation, “I’ve dragged you guys here for a reason.” “And this guy is here because?” I said, pointing at Flame Hyenard. “Seriously, I don’t think having two fire users is all that good of an idea.” “Fine, we’ll swap Blaze Heatnix for Spark Mandrill,” Sigma offered. “No, the current placements are fine,” Storm Eagle quickly objected. “Very well then,” said Sigma. “So, as for why you were summoned to here. This is what I want you to do. We’ve detected some Maverick Hunters in the area- Not enough to launch a full scale attack, but just enough to potentially cause a minor problem. I want you guys to go do whatever you want to them as long as it involves removing them from our land.” “Does that make mayonnaise an instrument- I mean, does that involve killing them?” I asked. “I haven’t finished speaking yet,” Sigma snapped. “Killing them is preferred, but make sure you hide the evidence. Donut distribution is in an hour, but if you finish early, you are permitted to go Maverick Hunter hunting... If you get what I mean.” He grinned. “Don’t care,” Blaze Heatnix muttered to himself. “What was that?” Sigma asked. “Nothing,” replied Blaze Heatnix quickly. “We’ll be on our way,” Storm Eagle said suddenly. He started dragging me and Blaze Heatnix to the entrance, leaving Flame Hyenard to run after us.