Single post in Chronicles of Gaia (RP)
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It felt like an explosion had ripped through her insides. Aislin had to catch herself from falling to her knees, making it a slow descent into a kneeling position with one arm braced against the boulder. She fought to keep quiet, continuing to draw slow, shaky breaths that hitched every few times while trails of tears began rolling down. She remained like this for several minutes, her mind racing. What had happened just now? Why was she feeling this way? Was this... Was this what people reffered to as 'Their world ripped out from beneath them'? She thought she had known the angel, she thought she could count on him to at least let her explain. Aislin drew in another breath and held it, forcing her emotions to settle a bit before letting it out. Fine... he had rejected her, for whatever that might mean. Fine. She could survive this; she had to. She was still needed by the group as a whole. All she needed to do right then was to collect herself a bit and write down her feelings... all the better to lock them away from everyone else to see them. Aislin sat down and, after scrubbing her face clean of tears, picked up the pencil and smoothed out the paper of the letter. This would go into the bottom of her bag once she was done, in a little sealed compartment that held nothing yet; she'd put the letter in there.
Completed Letter
Dear Rowan,
Would you believe me if I told you I like you the most out of our group? Probably not now. Especially after what I did. Please understand, I know a lot more than I ever really say or can tell you. The reason for that is they are either not my secret to tell, or the simpler reason of being afraid. I'm afraid of telling everyone what I know about them, about their worlds, things I really, really shouldn't know about. I'm afraid of what their reactions might be. I'm afraid of what might happen next if I keep quiet.
But I can tell you this: if you had succeeded in that shot, Seth would have killed you. Nevermind two targets sitting right in front of him, nevermind Rockna taking potshots at his back, he'd be gunning for *you*. Trying to kill *you*. And I couldn't handle that. I absolutely could not handle the thought of watching you die, of continuing this journey without you. Yeah, I might say the same for just about everyone here, but you definitely top the list of people I do not wish to see dead.
I don't know if I'm making this worse or not, and I know you have every right to be angry at me for what I did. But I like you. A lot more than I have... Well, anyone, really. It might be romantic, it might be friendship, it might even be love. I've never experienced that sort of thing for myself, so I don't know. Yeah I know I just told you I know a lot of things but that's just it. Things. Worlds I've never visited and probably never will. Creatures. Weaknesses. Enemies. All my knowledge amounts to nothing when it comes to things like this.
The thrill in my chest at seeing your smile, how happy I am just to see you. The pang of longing, missing you when we were separated. The strange feeling I had when you had said you'd be willing to kiss me back at the ship. *Me,* of all people! I still can't quite get over that.
I'm not certain what this might mean in the future with all that's happening around us. I'm not even sure we'll survive this continent, let alone this journey, but... I'm willing to give this a chance if you are. Does that sound good to you?
Aislin Darkonar
Avatar is made by Nightfury28. My Ponysona, Remembrance.
