Single post in CSY's Journal: Maths and Musings

This poem is for comedic purposes because Canta doesn't believe positive poems generally suck lol. My Dog Ate My Homework I can feel the teachers eyes Swivelling across the room I swear he can read my mind And is counting down my doom. "Alex", he gives a wicked smile Flashing his shiny gold tooth. "Where is your homework? You do remember that its due?" "Oh yes" I begin to mumble As I sift through my head for an excuse Trying to find one desperately - One I've not recently used. "The aliens abducted me! I only returned today! So I couldn't do your homework Cos for all night, I was away!" Or how about this? "I'm just Alex's twin - So it's not my fault I don't have my paper Can you ask Alex when you see him?" Or "My mom thought it was trash and threw it out as compost I tried to save it, I really did But it was all muddy and gross!" My favorite's this one - it's truly believable I swear "The Queen invited me to dinner I would have almost sneezed in her face If it wasn't for my paper!" Oh no I've taken too long - The teacher grins unpleasantly "Alex, I'm calling up your parents - You're missing your homework incessantly" "Um the dog ate my homework!" I shouted out hurriedly Oh no why did I say that? The worst excuse in history! The whole class laughs amused But I can't stop now! "Yes the dog ate my homework He'll eat everything - that cow!" "He once chewed on my sisters beads And had indigestion He had his stomach cut open I thought that'd teach him a lesson" "But no, he continued his rampage Chewing on all the leather On tablestools on chairs, He's even chewed on a feather!" "So its no surprise really, That my homework's been eaten; Our dog's out of control It was probably just dessert for him!" "Good job, Alex" the teacher said "I swear I'm not lying" Wait did the teacher just say "Good job?" Wait is the teacher smiling? "An A++ for the impromptu" Huh, is the world okay? "A great poem if I've ever seen one - I'm impressed, I must say". You see our homework assignment Was to write a decent poem So I picked my pen up and wrote about How my dog ate my homework. But wait what's that menacing growl The livid eyes, the hungry snarl "Good doggy doggy", I say hesitantly When towards me, he suddenly hurls. My dog didn't eat my homework But he did the next best thing. Now that my paper's covered with vomit I've got nothing to hand in.