Kirozey's World of Wonder

Well, I did and it was weird. Changed my feelings how I feel about him too for awhile until I stopped thinking about it. At least I didn't have another dream about it or to continue it. So the dream was about Dream, which is weird to start with, I was making fun of him about how people responded to the whole face reveal thing. He got sad about it. Started talking about real life problems, which I don't even know him so how would I know, then I felt bad about making fun of him. We started talking about things we like. We had some things in common. Had some laughs. Caught myself catching feelings for him then woke up confused and weirded out. So now when Dream is mentioned I get flash backs to that dream like "ohno, not again. I can't", LOL. I don't even know what created that dream. Not like I watch his stuff or anything about him other than meme stuff. Which is bad enough but, you know. You just roll your eyes or shake your head while debating skipping through the video or not.

You know what. When and if and I ever get hired for one of the jobs I applied for and there's drama with the co-workers, I bet you I can handle it pretty well because the crap that these people I'm forced to live with have put me through for 3+ years. I'm ready for it. I can say "Eh, I've been through worse. You have no idea. :')" If this is a life lesson, I don't like it. I want to cancel this class. Lesson is over and is not worth whatever my reward is. I just wanna art and pokefarm in peace with some nice cat and garden time on the side. I don't want every day to be a challenge. The cats already do that for me. I don't need anymore. We need to move out of this house already. It hasn't felt like home for years after my dad passed. This money sink of a house is not worth it anymore. I just ask that the next house stands up to a tornado and a hurricane. It won't be built for us like this one was but, as long as it's just me, my mom and our cats that I can take care of when I get my first real job...I'll be content. I say real job because I worked for my dad for years, years ago. He always said it wasn't a real job but, that manual labor 6.5 days a week got my body and mind messed up. If I'm not doing something then I feel like someone is going to tell me there's work to do. My body hurts, worn down from it. My skin too. I bet you the paychecks I could get will be weird since I never got paid 100+ a month unless it was a bonus for my birthday. (20$ a week. Could have been 40 or 60 if I could drive a truck/boat) Never got around to learning how to do boat on the water stuff. He was suppose to take me when it wasn't so hot since I'm sensitive to heat. I always did land stuff. Load/Unload traps and other stuff he needs. Gas the boat up. Clean the boats out. Take the 5 gallon buckets out of the boat without dropping it and myself out of the boat. Then helped him pressure wash the dirty smelly traps on the weekends. As much as I hated it because no help 90% of the time, I'll take it back. Things were simple and I didn't worry about so much then. Like I've said before, it was like a blanket was covering the world when my dad was here. Then when he passed it was like someone ripped the blanket off and shoved my face into the real world. I'm also still upset missing my 27th birthday on the 27th of August, 2019 A lot of things happened in 2019....Can't tell if that was the best or worse year because one hand, missed the special day. The other, DMC 5. Along with other bad things but, you know. D o n t e dee mee cee 2, baest gaem!

When you text your friend "good morning beautiful 💙" as joke but that evolves into sharing a bed or him getting a bigger bed with serious under tones. "Yeah, when you get a bigger bed, let me know so I can sleep on the left edge of it then you can have the 80% of the rest of the bed". I'm used to sleeping on the edge of my twin sized bed. I do sometimes roll over to snuggle one of my double pillow when it's not too hot. My "double pillow" is just two pillows on top of each other. Not one of those long/body pillows. I joked that I would probably accidentally grab him instead of my pillow, lol. I'll bring my pillow hoard so we can have a pillow wall. I'd probably mess with him anyways until he smacks my hand or baps me with a pillow, telling me to go to sleep. "You play too much, get out of my bed" In the end, the solution was for him to sleep on top of me because I said I slid into his bed to sleep if he's not going to sleep yet. No room for two? Just dog pile. Fun and games until one of us says it's too hot and we can't breathe. Who needs a weighted blanket when you can just throw your friend on top of you? Makes a nice heating pad you can snuggle too. 🤗 (Though it might move sometimes and also might make weird sounds, like snoring? ASMR I guess?) Out of all the bad and horrible things that have been happening to me in my life, I'm glad I still have him all these years later. Unless we get a friendship divorce I guess. 🤔 He really do make me happy whether he knows it or not....or no manner how much he denies it. Like always. I just hope I make things better for him. Even a little. That would make me happy. - Family problems. - Nerds about games. - Make dumb jokes. - Despise ourselves a lot. - Feel like we never accomplish anything people expect from us. - Live with out parent/s. - We want to get away from certain family members. - We know how to knock each other down and make things weird over appreciation compliments or encouragement. Yes, weird friends with a 10+ year commitment it is. 💀🤝💀 One instance; After he passed a collage class: Me: I'm proud of you, good job~ Him: Thanks Mom. :^) Me: You're welcome Son :) On my way from Florida to Oklahoma to go give him a wedgie of appreciation. 😘