Kirozey's World of Wonder

Is it wrong to be happy about being loved by someone who already has found a lover who they started a life with and you know it's wrong but it feels so good being loved by them? This isn't the first time this has happened. I always feel guilty about it and not sure if I could share it since I felt like that was weird. Last time it was someone else who was single but I knew it wasn't right and they could do better than me. I just enjoyed the moment since they didn't seem to mind. After a while we realized what we were doing and pretended to do something else. Another time was with another where we were just hugging, telling each other cute or funny things for a long time. I started to feel weird since there were a few other people who were sometimes looking at us but I also didn't care and just closed my eyes and swayed in their arms as I smelt their shirt and they kissed my head as a I closed my eyes. Overall I don't think I regret any of these events since, after all, it was all just dreams. snake eater. I wish I could stay there. Being loved and not know the context or how that would feel. The brain can do wonders. Create, replace, record, replay, and improvise. ... Now to go suplex some vampires in Skyrim.

- Added animated version of the Pichu lure set. Long time later I realize I didn't add it to the post even though I posted it on my DA. GG me. - Finished Sunieko (origin forme) party icon and also added that to my "about me". Fully completed now. Only thing left would be the fully sized ones. Other things.... Shoutout to my nephew thinking he woke up in time to not miss the bus. Yesterday was the first day of him riding the bus and he slept in the same room with his mom, didn't have his phone to wake himself up, so at 7:50AM I was banging on the bedroom door like "Uhh hello? It's 7:50 you gotta get up you guys, bus will be here at 8:20 or sooner, you gotta get ready NOW". He said he didn't remember that. I knew I should have checked on them at 7:30. = 3=; I don't mess around with bus times because I remember the talk my bus driver gave me: "When there's a time that i'm going to be here, I want to see you there waiting for me not running to me. I want you to wait on me and not me waiting on you. I can't come back around or keep people waiting behind me on this highway, it's dangerous for all of us." I felt that and that stuck to my core, lol. (It always made me feel bad when the bus driver was upset at me) (I think i'm just sensitive) Be there or be waking your mom/dad up telling them you missed the bus, get chewed out while they drive you all the way to school while you try not to cry about it. ; u; Oh wait, that was just me with my mom when she was upset because she just got done with a 12 hour shift and she just wanted to sleep but had to go back into the city to dump me off. Wasn't mad I wanted to go to school, just mad because she was exhausted already. O O P Now back to feeling sorry for myself and try to get some things done.

I love how fast the mood can change in this house. So, last night it was a fun night. Had some good laughs, cared about each other. Today...war. yelling, screaming, crying, you name it. I hope it's resolved and over because I can't deal with that stuff anymore. I got enough anxiety. I get some sort of PTSD from people yelling and causing loud noises for past personal reasons. That's the only reason why I don't like loud noises. I prefer the noise to be little to none. I shouldn't have to crank up my volume to enjoy a video or play my game. Go get your own place and go do all that and see how fast someone else kicks you out or calls the cops. Oh wait you can't because you keep spending all your bf's money on stupid things...you need to save up for your son, yourselves and that baby if you want to keep it. Like I said, it wouldn't be bad if you lived here, you just need to not be rude and nasty. That's all we ask. Stop being a dummy. ANYWAYS..... I just wanted to relax again today since yesterday it was pretty good. I started working on a design for my phone case. I painted it white for a base coat since it was already white. It was a design of small light to darker pink flamingos in different poses. I loved that but, it was at a point where it was worn out completely and there were flamingos surrounded by what was left over from the base coat of the original cover paint. Which looked awful so I just scraped it all off, which was a task all of its own. Used all sorts of things. Using my nail drill thing worked the best but was also the worse noise wise. did it in spurts before it drove me insane with the loud noise. I hope today I can get all the adopts done so I can either do some art before things get deleted. Would be nice to get back to art. I've been playing Skyrim instead since now i'm able to be creative in a way where I can make arrows and stuff to upgrade and sell. Grinding is fun when I know where to get the stuff. I wish there was a city that actually had everything. I have to go back to Whiterun to get firewood and more people to sell things to. smh. At least now I can get ebony and glass arrows. I'm using that arrow trick with the guards in Solitude to get free ones. ;3 I got two of them to do this time. Which is faster but I need to pay attention more nice there's only a few that can be on screen before they start to replace each other which will be time wasted = profit wasted. They're 4 gold each which is great since I can go get some stuff to make elven arrows to sell in the meantime. Lots of running back and forth but I don't mind it. Keeps me busy not thinking how I can't buy or play Sword/Shield. :C (I probably could buy the game if I finish a MMO sprite commission but, no switch so eh) Which i'm waiting for someone to stream it. I think Joel(Vargskelethor) and or Vinny(Vinesauce) will stream one of them so I have that at least. :'3 I forget who else from the Vine team will be streaming it...I should probably look. It will be interesting to see how they all play it. I will be spoiled but that's okay...I will still love them since I've been waiting for them to spoil me. Not weird at ALL Also, i've almost drunk paint brush water 3 times today....I keep switching sides with my drink cup but then I keep mixing them up so I give up. Mmmm....Ma-wheep.

Imagine getting fat shamed by your underwear. Nobody has that happen to them before right? Ha ha.. Awwoo.. (I just forgot my size and bought a size too small is all.) [WARNING LIFE DRAMA AHEAD] (STRESS AND ANXIETY) My sister's boyfriend basically talked smack behind me and my mom's back once more. "She can go to hell and take [my name] with her" all over an accidental someone eating someone's food. I even apologized if it was me. I know I did eat some cookies of my nephew's but that's it I have my food and that's it. Nothing else. If it seems like their's I no touch unless I ask my mom if it's her's or theirs. Apparently he's getting the boot once again and I personally hope for good. He can go kiss someone else's butt to come back. You'd think they would learn. Imma just eat popcorn as he gets the ban hammer. I know if my mom doesn't like someone right off then I don't either. Them getting together is a bad omen overall to me. Maybe now I can gain my sanity back. So stressed over it and most of the fights I'm not even involved. I doubt it. I will just have to keep pushing. Galar please come to pokefarm land already. I need it. I've given up the fight with them 2 months ago I'm broken. I can't anymore. I'm mentally exhausted. I need someone or something to make me laugh. It's hard to make myself laugh and happy. Friends whom I talked to about it know the whole break down about it. I'm done. I want to leave if they still get to live here with that baby. I'm calling my oldest sister or older brother and peacing out until they leave. I can't stand any new stress and noises. Just gonna play skyrim, eat oreo o's, and drink bebsi as I have coughing fits every 30 minutes. :)

Hey, I got something less drama related to note about for once. I can tell what kind of mood my mind is in now. If I want to make random heartless then that means I really am stressed and have nothing but dark thoughts in my mind. I haven't thought about making purehearts people have been asking for but i'll be sure to make some new heartless :3 So far i've made 2 new ones and a card of one i've already done. Also this song is a sum of my mental energy. -What song do you want to listen to? Yes. That but with this energy. k thanks. (Should be clean far as I can hear but if you don't like the word "sexy" then no good; just watch/listen with caution, wear head/earphones!) [youtube]o-vHiR-GCzs[/youtube] I listened to their songs on bandcamp and it's horrible in a good way. I mean that as in they mixed BYOB and Country Roads. It's a good song but also me is facepalming into space. I was about to share the heartless stuff but then I remembered I don't have them done and it's too much effort to upload it here since I won't keep it. :) Why can't photobucket go back to how it was? First photobucket and now youtube. Such hard times for sharing the things you love the most. -pensiveclown-

I told my mom she should watch the Detective Pikachu movie with me, I watched it earlier this morning when I woke up but I wanted to watch it again with someone else, and....spoilers??? Overall 10/10 would watch again when i'm bored. I love everything about it. The sound, the graphics, the action. Yiss. Also, did you see how long those art related credits were? mama mia, so much reading. You bet I did pause it because I was curious. I still love Ken, he will always be my senpai~ u///w//u I wonder if the game is good or not. I don't know if I will ever purchase it though. I don't know...I always miss out on the "spin off" like ones. I'm missing out on Sword and Shield because I don't have a Switch and not sure when in my life I will get one. It be like that sometimes.

When you feel like an idiot apologizing to your sister when you are pretty sure she still hates you but you know you have to say you're sorry or it will just eat you from the inside. So, basically...I woke up kind of happy but then something snapped inside me and I hated everything. I didn't want any kind of issues. But I asked my nephew to do a simple thing and he does it wrong. I try to ask him nicely to fix it and he asks 50 questions so I lose it and I bang on the guest room where my sister and her boyfriend are staying...I bang on it like if I was our dad now that I think about it. I just bang on the door 2 or 3 times saying that the cat wants to get in the room. I didn't want to hear anything she had to say so I didn't repeat myself and went into my room with the food I quickly made out of anger. I thought about sending a text or writing a note but I felt that was more stupid. I hesitated to knock on the door to start with. I was tempted to just walk away but, I had to do it. I would have hated myself if I didn't. So, I asked her to come out so I could spew out that I was sorry. She explained why the cat was out of the room, she didn't know he was out, she thought her son already put him back in the room but he didn't so yeah....good thing I actually said I was sorry about that. I told her I was in a bad mood. I didn't know WHY I was...maybe because I got angry because my sleep has been interrupted 3 days in a row either from cats, life or my lungs screaming for air from the boogers. Just not good sleep or not for long. Tempted to take that full dose of nyquil and sleep for 11 hours peacefully. lol. Nah...I didn't like sleeping that long. Went to sleep at 2am and woke up 3pm that day. I was stuck in dreamworld and then went "...Wait, i'm still dreaming aren't I? I'm bored. I should wake up...what time is it-" and looked at the sun, how late it looked, and saw it was 3pm almost 4pm. LMAO. Good times. You know you've been dreaming too long when you want to sleep in your dreams because you're bored. I should be clicking but I have been off and on working on art. I keep stopping because I need something to wake my brain up but there's nothing really like that. Had ramen but was really hungry again so I had 2 grilled cheeses not too long ago. That was good but I wish there was something nice to drink. Almost out of sodas...think I have one left. There's no water, except sink water but that's well water but that's kinda gross unless it's hot, there's tea but I didn't make it so it's gross to me. I'm dying send help. Everyone is too busy to go shopping. I can't live off sugar. I need water. Time to eat ice I guess. :)