Zero's Wall of Ramblings

When you have a heart to heart with your boss about being stressed and having to deal with depression and he points out it's all in my head. I know he means well but uh, that's kind of how stress, anxiety and depression work? They're mental illnesses for a reason. I have 6 more hours left of this shift. The conversation left me so mentally exhausted that I just want to go home and numb my brain playing video games.

My shopping mentality; "That looks really nice but it's so expensive..." You are what you eat I guess, I'll take unhealthy amounts of fat and sugar to save a few pennies, thank you! I see the prices of some things though I do genuinely question what a food product contains that allows the company to charge that price. I had a £6 lasagna when it was on clearance for £2. Perhaps my tastes are, unrefined but the lasagna I make from scratch tasted way better and makes more portion wise for the same price? They say that if you've been raised on junk food, 'real' food will taste awful. But honestly I just find the price difference between the two awful. If I've gotta pay £6 for a meal to be considered to be eating 'real food' then I'll take my £1 microwave burger thanks.

---

This has been a Zero rant, brought on by trying to do an online shop at 12:30am when she should really be sleeping. :D

When you gotta weave through all the Noibat Eggs just to find that one Buneary egg. In other news, I failed once again to motivate myself to draw another page of my Pokémon comic and ended up doing a drawing for a RP instead. I've debated redrawing the comic page... but I'm also lazy/just want to get more pages out because it's been forever and I feel bad for leaving the comic on life support. ;-;

~Clearing up all personal ramblings in my journal that are more mental health rants. I don't want people stumbling on this journal and worrying. If you're that curious you can always read the post history. :D~

I've used Guardians Inferno from Guardians of the Galaxy 2 as my alarm clock for so long now that I actually get triggered hearing on the radio or in my music playlist. The start of the song works far too well as an alarm and it throws me off whenever I hear it. Maybe it's time for a new alarm song. XD

I've been trying to motivate myself to keep working on my B/W Nuzlocke comic but every time I open up the page I've been on, I can't seem to find the motivation to fix it. I spent ages trying to get one pose right and when I finally settled on it, I ran into another hiccup. It's been over a year now, still stuck on that page. I might have to grin and bare it and redo the page entirely. I want to finish this comic, no matter how long it takes. I never finish any project I start and I hate that.

I have no idea where to put this, so I guess it's going here? Balan Wonderworld's concept looked awesome, though the game wound up a mess. But for some bizzare reason they decided to strip the game of its story and release it as a novel instead. Ignoring that the game doesn't even tell you the names of the characters or villians, There's some pretty important details in the novel that really needed to be in the main game. Like from the game alone you'd be forgiven for thinking the boss fights are the player helping a character overcome their trauma. And while that is true, according to the book the characters are using their trauma to protect the worlds they've made because they think the player and Balan are bad guys? That's kinda crucial information that the player should know. :P And I won't spoil the ending but there are hints that Balan and Lance are related in some way (not counting their names literally being Balance when put together) but the game tells you nothing outside of them looking similar. But the book actually tells the reader how the two are connected and that Balan is constantly putting himself in danger. Sounds like something that should've been in the games, writers! I know most probably shrug this off as "It's just a kid's game, stop getting worked up." I personally hate that argument but this game is interesting to look at as someone who takes interest in game design. I love the world design and characters but the choices they've made to tell this story baffle me, they've pretty much dug their own grave in doing so. I can only hope the novel sells well and they keep going down that route instead. I've been a Sonic fan for years and because of the visual design of this game, I know my brain won't let me leave this IP alone anytime soon but hopefully being able to ramble about it here will ease of my fixation for a while. XD

If meat substitutes were cheaper I'd become a vegetarian, purely because trying to figure out if meat has gone bad is an annoying and expensive habit. Ground beef I bought a few days ago was bright red yesterday but has gone dull today despite not going off until tomorrow. Mine only really ticks one box in the 'is food bad' test, that being the smell, which could easily just be me not liking the smell and so thinking it's bad. So do I throw it out? That's £3 of food to waste when it could make a meal for 2/3 people and my family need every penny we can spare. At least with frozen substitutes like Quorn I'd know what I'm eating is safe to eat but it's £3 for half the amount I get with actual meat. :/ Sorry for this random rant, I was really looking forward to spaghetti bolognese with fancy pasta I'd bought. ;-;

Fell down to S+3 in Splat Zones in Splatoon, starting to feel like being at S+5 was just a lucky fluke and I'm actually not that good of a player. It's just a game but it's a game I've poured over 800hrs into now, I can't help but be disheartened when all that hard work goes *poof*. I really wish I had more friends that played Splatoon as obsessively as I do, playing League is way more fun because there's no rank. I can play a match with a weapon I hardly use for the fun of it and not stress about loosing a rank and having to climb back up again. Playing with random players can be fun but most of the time it's just frustrating because it's unpredictable and impossible to communicate outside of 'This Way!' 'Booyah' and 'Ouch'. I really hope they add better commands in 3.

I hate summer. It's too warm to sleep, I woke up at 4am the day before and it's 4am again and I still haven't slept. The worst part is that I don't feel tired despite doing a 9hr shift yesterday. Just glad I'm off work today so I can try catching up on sleep later. ;-;