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Zan's massive treasure hoard

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Pages: 1234

Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
i dont talk abt it much but i kinda dont like myself lmao.... however i do love myself, which is very different
Zan
they/them
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
journal spamming bc i'm depressed and my brain feels weird and my body hurts i've met a lot of nice people since returning to pfq and i'd like to be friends with many of them but i dont really have the energy? i can't relax and be myself anymore because the person i am without restraint is emotionally numb and unendingly anxious and i'm not interested in injecting that person into a potential friendship. most of how i present myself online involves putting on a nice face and moderating what i say because otherwise i'd spiral out of control. i'm glad that people like this restrained version of me and i wish i could connect on a deeper level but i've really got too many issues with my head rn and i'm not comfortable with being uninhibited because that'd probably be dangerous (to myself) at worst and very very unpleasant at best. i really really really hope my doctor has something useful to say when i see him on monday... im so tired of trying to navigate and self diagnose these problems myself... im suffering and i want to see an end. and it's not just the depression (which is debilitating rn), it's the relentless sleep issues and anxiety too
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
my body hurts so much and idk if i'll be able to go to classes tomorrow ha ha''/
in better news i got two commissions and an art trade done today :>
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
kinda miss the "people who have interacted with this pokemon" function
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
doctor's appointment tomorrow emailed my profs about my symptoms being really bad, time to put these disability accommodations to work it's only the first week of school :(
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
depression
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar

QUOTE originally posted by Zan

depression
at least that's what i think / hope this all is i dont have the energy to do anything i feel dead! all the time! i dont have the energy to draw the way i used to and my emotions don't work the way they used to
i always want to do things but the energy dies as soon as i have the ability to do it. the smallest things have gotten so difficult and it no longer matters how much i want to do something, whether or not i can actually do it depends on whatever arbitrary state my energy level's at. im posting in my journal bc i wanna draw so bad but i just dont have the energy!! i cant even focus enough to draw a square!!
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar

QUOTE originally posted by Zan

QUOTE originally posted by Zan

depression
at least that's what i think / hope this all is i dont have the energy to do anything i feel dead! all the time! i dont have the energy to draw the way i used to and my emotions don't work the way they used to
i always want to do things but the energy dies as soon as i have the ability to do it. the smallest things have gotten so difficult and it no longer matters how much i want to do something, whether or not i can actually do it depends on whatever arbitrary state my energy level's at. im posting in my journal bc i wanna draw so bad but i just dont have the energy!! i cant even focus enough to draw a square!!
hee hee this is chronic fatigue syndrome!!!
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
hello subscribers come watch me put images into your brain stream (all done now, but you can still find my picarto profile through the link!) - PFQ rules apply (keep the chat child-friendly) - requests are welcome but are subject to my energy levels (which are admittedly low rn) - to view you'll have to make an account and confirm your email
Zan's AvatarZan
Zan's Avatar
bonus no-tablet doodle for those who've already consumed my comic

Pages: 1234

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