Single post in Pen and Paper - A Writers Clan

The first paragraph is one long sentence. It could be broken up into two. The part beginning with 'almost a soon as the RV passes through the gate' should be a seperate sentence. Or a new paragraph. The scientists mentions 'Sorry to hear about James, he was a good man', implying his death, but we meet James later in the story. That was confusing. Also, since I am on the subject of James: the scientists who experiment on children are usually not the good guys in fiction. He made his experiments public, the Panthera Squad goes to conventions. Is everyone okay with it, or will the ethics surrounding experiments on children be highlighted as well? When Felix is shot, there's not a lot of emotion there. It looks like the story is from the perspective of Felix: he talks with the scientist, he runs over to the side of the building and shouts orders, he notices he is overtaken by the cheetah. But when he's shot we don't get anything from his perspective, it's just mentioned he falls. I would add more detail to the shot. The change between the backstory of James and the returning to the present is very sudden. Maybe you could add something like "Felix got pulled out of his thoughts when suddenly a long roar from Leo sounded" to make the change between the exposition and the current story a little less abrupt. Overall, it looks like an interesting story and I hope you will write more about the Panthera Squad.