Single post in Elta's Scrolls
Entry #1Nov. 12, 2014 Exhaustion and frustration. The first two words that pop into my head. I grew up with the notion to always respect your elders. But... what happens when it isn't returned? Would you stop giving that respect and stoop to their level? Try and bear with it with your head held high? Run tail and give in? It would've been simple for me: respect is respect, no matter what. But these past few weeks have been very trying, to the point that I feel like I'm breaking. I'd blame work and stress for my exhaustion, but that's only a partial truth. Trying to pacify your loved ones without losing yourself... I wouldn't exactly call that living, but it's something. Yet my grasp on things is weakening even further. Strings have been attached to my limbs, and the lack of control scares me. The outside world sees my usual self, but only those whom I call friends get the full story. My "chipper" self has become a mask, and that fact makes me sick to my stomach. What is the difference between control and guidance? The distinction eludes me as the line that separates them slowly starts to fade. Oh, it's easy enough to recognize when strangers try to pull on your strings. But what about the people closest to you? Would you cave in and do their bidding so they won't distance themselves from you? Or would you be the one to make that gap?
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